The worst Christmas songs of all time

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Every year, from mid-November, Christmas music starts to take over. In shops, on the radio and those Christmas adverts that seemingly pop up in mid-August. There are some classic songs, nobody hates a little bit of Mariah or The Pogues, but in recent years there have been some atrocious offerings. We’ve compiled a list of the worst.

Justin Bieber – ‘Mistletoe’
First up is the Bieber’s, erm, classic, ‘Mistletoe’. In fact, anything from his Christmas album Under the Mistletoe can be included in this list. With the romantic lyrics: “Aye, love, the wise men followed the star, the way I followed my heart”, and sleigh bells galore, it is every Christmas cliché in one, but doesn’t end up in a fun and festive track; instead it’s just painfully annoying. Other atrocities which it is worth mentioning on his festive record are his cover of ‘The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)’, which is just a heavily auto-tuned mess. You know those demo tracks you used to have on your school keyboards? It’s one of those with Bieber and Usher auto-tuned over the top. And also the collaboration with Busta Rhymes on a cover of ‘Drummer Boy’. Yes it really is as bad as it sounds.

Bob Dylan – ‘It Must Be Santa’
This is a cover of the 1960 track, but covered in a polka style, and I wish Bob had just left it alone. I mean, the original wasn’t that great to start with, but with Bob’s new polka elements it is truly awful.

cheeky christmasThe Cheeky Girls – ‘Have A Cheeky Christmas’
With a chorus of “Everybody come together, it’s a hot hot Christmas night, make the magic last forever, have a cheeky Christmas time” you can only imagine what the rest of the song is like. The girls have also produced a second Christmas song called ‘Boys and Girls (Xmas Time Love)’, which is even worse.

Crazy Frog – ‘Last Christmas’
Anybody remember Crazy Frog? I know I try not to. This cover of ‘Last Christmas’ was released in 2006, on a CD that also featured covers of ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ and everyone’s favourite Christmas classic, ‘Nelly the Elephant’. Incredibly annoying but also exceptionally catchy, it is definitely up there in the worst Christmas songs of all time.

Los del Río – ‘Macarena Christmas’
As if the original Macarena wasn’t bad enough, they remixed it for some festive fun. With clips of ‘Jingle Bells’, ‘Joy To The World’ and ‘White Christmas’ mixed in amongst the original, this is undeniably one of the worst Christmas songs (if not worst songs) of all time.

61By5sXtoIL._SL500_AA280_Cyndi Lauper – ‘Christmas Conga’
I don’t know what they were thinking with this one. “Bonga, bonga, bonga, do the Christmas conga”. Okay then Cyndi, whatever you say.

N Sync – ‘Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays’
I think you have to watch the video to get the full impact of this one. With some atrocious green-screen shots of the boys travelling the world to help Santa deliver all the presents, clichéd clips of the Timberlake in orphanages hanging out with kids, and complete with a ‘breakdown’ mid song, the only thing merry about this song is when it finishes.

There it is, some of the worst Christmas songs ever. Which is your least favourite, and what atrocities did we miss!? Let us know in the comments below.

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Snack queen and entertainment journalist. Records Editor 2014-2015 & News Editor 2013-2014 for The Edge.

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