The Curve #4

Well, we’re now well and truly over the buzz of Freshers, and the winter chill has started to creep upon us; but here at The Curve we’ve done all we can to find something to brighten these dark days, only the craziest and most bizarre celebrity stories of the week! This issue, think Britney Spears Jesus musical and Bieber’s cheeky trip to a brothel. Read on to find out more…

1) I’m A Slave 4 Jesus

Some people would say that Britney is the Queen of Pop, but perhaps it’d be an exaggeration to describe her as the saviour of mankind. Nevertheless, the stage show Spears The Musical: The Gospel According To Britney premiered in New York this week, and tells Jesus’s life story through the music of Britney. The show promises to include hits such as ‘Stronger’ and ‘(You Drive Me) Crazy’, and includes no words apart from Britney’s unchanged lyrics, so it’ll be really easy understanding what’s going on…

2) Beauty & A Bieb

Earlier this week Bieber was reported to have left a Brazilian brothel when he was in Rio de Janeiro. The New York Post reported that the starlet was caught leaving the brothel covering his head in a bed sheet to hide from the paparazzi. Apparently Biebz was in the brothel for over three hours, before he returned to his hotel (which he was later kicked out of for breaking hotel rules). What would his mother say?

3) I Sowed A Seed

Katy Perry’s new album Prism has been identified as a biohazard in Australia due to the fact that each copy includes a pack of seeds. Buying copies which include local seeds is fine, but the Department of Agriculture consider copies bought online and imported into the country as a potential risk, and may confiscate them under customs laws. Seeds were included in the deluxe version of the record, encouraging fans to “spread the light”… okay then.

4) Video Killed the Radio Star

BBC Radio One breakfast show host Nick Grimshaw has embarked on a ‘soap-bombing’ mission in an effort to appear in as many soaps as possible. This week Grimshaw filmed a cameo for Hollyoaks, but has already filmed scenes for Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Home and Away. A source told The Irish Mirror that it’s all so he can make his mum Eileen proud. Bless.

5. Ariana Ghastly

We’ve had haunted vaginas on the Curve, now we bring you another close encounter – this time with a demon. Starlet Ariana Grande told of her own encounter with the spooky spirit in a haunted castle in Kansas City. She claims that she smelt sulphur (apparently how demons smell, if you believe cult hit show Supernatural) and felt ‘overwhelming negativity’. Apparently she took a picture of said demons , and tried to send it to her manager the next day only to receive the message ‘This file can’t be sent, it’s 666 megabytes.’ – coincidence? We think not…