Review: The Pyramid

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There are very few films for which it cannot be said "Well at least it was mostly in focus." Then there's The Pyramid.

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The Pyramid is a found footage farce that words can only fail to articulate. It tells the story of some archaeologists and a documentary crew, who investigate a pyramid that, for reasons scarily explained, is really special and apparently different from any other pyramid. The narrative messily tangles together something about a curse, a virus and a hell of a lot of darkness.If you were expecting a more coherent plot synopsis, don’t – the film won’t clue you in anymore than that just did. The found footage aesthetic is inconsistent, to say the least. It’s one of those found footage films which manages to stick to a pretense of coming from primarily one camera, whilst simultaneously having multiple lines of action edited together, a musical score and… an aerial shot from space.

The acting is also unconventional, in that usually people attempt to pull off performances as believable human beings. However, seemingly aiming for avant-garde experimentation, first time director Grégory Levasseur appears to have told his actors to try something a little different. And the script is no better. Flying in the face of anything a rational human being would deem logical, it’s littered with t-shirt worthy gems such as ‘We’re like food in a bowl!’ and ‘can you stop being archaeologists for 5 minutes and start acting like human beings!’ It is also rife with inconsistencies and plot holes.

Monty Python-esque random occurrences are increasingly frequent (look out for perhaps the least dignified death you’ll ever see) and if it wasn’t for the fact that they’d constitute spoilers, you could fill a whole review just listing the gloriously stupid moments that pad out this beautiful disaster. In fact, it wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to label this the funniest film of the year. Add to all that, and this isn’t being picky, the worst lighting ever committed to the big screen, oscillating between so dark you can’t see a thing, and full on flood lighting with absolutely no discernible source. And a quick mention for the big bad monster; it appears as if the filmmaker just copied over the creature design from the 2002 Scooby-Doo film and then forgot to let the effects render properly – and yet, this is the one time the film feels the need to show things clearly, without excessive shaky cam, rapid editing and perpetual darkness.

The Pyramid (2014), directed by Grégory Levasseur , is distributed in UK cinemas by Twentieth Century Fox, Certificate 15.

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I have the enviable skill of making TV watching, Video-game playing and ranting about films appear to be a legitimate form of work. It's exhausting. Oh and I am the Culture Editor now... that too!

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