What makes the perfect Doctor Who companion?

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Let’s say you have yourself a Time-Lord.  He’s the last of his kind, and he’s wise, and witty, and more than a bit arrogant.  He’s picked up plenty of girls in the past few millennia, but his last pretty little thing got killed off by some kind of supernatural bird, so he’s getting a bit lonely.  What does he look for in his next companion?  Here’s a list The Doctor may devise during some of his down-time, and maybe pop in the paper for advertisement purposes:

A companion of The Doctor must:

  1. So far, be female.
  2. Be involved somehow in the universe-threatening alien invasion that the TARDIS manages to land slap-bang in the middle of.
    2a. This involvement must demonstrate the companion-to-be’s courage and unique charm, as they                    keep their cool in the face of danger and end up saving the world at the eleventh hour.
  3. Demonstrate prior knowledge of staple catchphrases such as “it’s bigger on the inside!” and “Doctor Who?”
  4. Develop some kind of feelings for the Doctor, usually unrequited, sometimes resulting in a convoluted love-triangle scenario.
  5. Possess a decent amount of wit, in order to keep up sufficient banter with the Doctor, and produce the occasional witty one-liner that can be placed on mugs, t-shirts etc.
  6. Have a strong moral compass, but with the ability to make mistakes (and learn from them).
  7. Preferably must have some relation to some other interesting characters.
    (See:  Jackie Tyler, Mickey Smith, Wilfred Mott, Rory Williams, River Song, Danny Pink)

And last, but certainly not least, a Doctor’s companion must be human.  And not just human, but filled with all the oh-so-very-human traits of compassion, kindness, curiosity, courage.  Their life must be filled with all of the usual human drama; romances, families, friends – who will pop up every now and then – and they must allow the audience to see their vulnerable and relatable side.  They must have some weaknesses, helping The Doctor see some of his too, as well as having many strengths that they can employ in the face of alien invasion or mystery solving. The Doctor must trust them, and vice versa, allowing for intimate, emotional conversations about the past.  A Doctor’s companion is, in conclusion, a well-rounded, strong female character with a well-defined character arc, who isn’t perfect, but has a big heart.

(This is all unless, of course, you’re written by Steven Moffat, in which case your life revolves around The Doctor, you’re quite good at asking questions and running about after your new Time-Lord friend, and both of your parents are conveniently dead, or might as well be. Oh, and you have very similar nicknames: (The Girl Who Waited/ The Girl Who Lived).  Still, you’re at least partly human, and the Doctor seems to like you.)

The next series of Doctor Who airs later this month, watch the trailer introducing the new companion below:

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12-year-old possessive lioness and shiny goddess of all things nerdy. I am usually great and sometimes Deputy Edit. I support everyone and like everything @faithfulpadfoot. If you speak ill of musicals I may or may not bite thee.

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