Charlie Brooker’s dystopian anthology series has become famous for speculating on the fate of the modern world and our growing technological dependence. Although you’d be a fool not to be in a perpetual state of awe at some of the ideas it has brought to life, I don’t about you, but I’m a little tired of that classic Brooker-bleakness. Where’s the realness? Where’s the millennial pizzazz? And where are the intricate plot-arcs about Netflix, Animal Crossing and Snapchat? Consider this a bit of brainstorming for the new series.
Widespread hacking makes public and automatic transport unusable, including all the electric cars which have become the norm in 2050. People resort to their using the derelict bicycles left to them by their great grandparents and, after months of discerning their use, begin to depend on them for day-to-day travel. Carbon emissions plummet. The US re-joins the Paris Climate Accord. Ice caps re-freeze. Presumed-extinct animals reanimate. Global warming is a thing of the past, I guess, but now we live in a zombie movie.
Snapchat’s map function has been around for a whole decade. Crazy ex partners and weird stalkers all around the world rejoice, spending their weekends outside their beloved’s window. Katie’s just received one snap from David, and it’s quite a lewd one of her getting changed for a night out. Katie’s confused. ‘New phone, who dis?’ she snaps back.
The year is 2047. The Western world has accumulated an overwhelming addiction to the 13th instalment of Nintendo’s Animal Crossing. The line between life as we know it and the AC is blurred. We all finish our sentences with odd catchphrases we’ve been blackmailed to say by our neighbours and we regularly give each other framed pictures of ourselves. Selfies are outdated. Instagram is dead.
Orange is the New BRB
Netflix start practising the art of subliminal messaging by hiding countless adverts in their original productions. One particular case works far better than the rest and hot dog sales rise by 700%. As the global backlog of hot dogs decreases, panic and dismay settle in and we are sent into a massive economic crisis. Even the Quorn alternatives are in low supply. Only the vegans can save us now.
When England Was My City
A gang war has finally broken out between Vine’s own Jake and Logan Paul, and the death toll of both the Jake Paul-ers and the Logang are steadily rising. Jake lands a critical blow with his latest diss track, claiming his brother is not, contrary to popular belief, colour blind. The world is shocked. Logan hits back by replacing the lug nuts in Jake’s car with helium capsules. Jake is dead, and Team 10 fall apart. Chaos ensues and the world is devastated by mass riots. A crying woman wanders the deserted streets, faintly murmuring “it’s not everyday anymore bro” behind dead eyes.
Robots don’t actually reach sentience, but robotic artists become overwhelmingly better at creating art than humans Man-made artistic pursuits are nothing but worthless junk. A.Is write beautiful symphonies for holographic orchestras. Cities flock to their nearest bookshops to buy the latest AI-best-seller. Journalism is done by robots in mere seconds. Humans have no jobs. It is very bad.
Black Mirror is available in its entirety on Netflix right now, but Series 4 is due to release before the end of 2017.